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Relationships

What is love? Psychologists studying relationships might argue it is the result of thousands of years of evolution that ensures successful reproduction. Others would say partners that are similar and complementary to who you are and your lifestyle makes for a successful Romantic Relationship. Let's explore relationships within the realm of psychology, including how Sexual Selection affects partner preferences, the theories of romantic relationships, and virtual relationships.

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What is love? Psychologists studying relationships might argue it is the result of thousands of years of evolution that ensures successful reproduction. Others would say partners that are similar and complementary to who you are and your lifestyle makes for a successful Romantic Relationship. Let's explore relationships within the realm of psychology, including how Sexual Selection affects partner preferences, the theories of romantic relationships, and virtual relationships.

  • First, we will define a Romantic Relationship.
  • Next, we will discuss the different types of relationships in psychology.
  • Then, we will explore relationship stages.
  • Finally, we will look at the function of virtual and parasocial relationships.

Relationships, couple holding hands in front of the sun, VaiaFig. 1: Relationships are important in human behaviour.

Relationship Meaning

How we define relationships today is very different from how we defined them 50 to 100 years ago. They can be between people of any Gender or gender-non-conformity or race and include more than two people. They can be established online or in person. In the context of romantic partners, a relationship can be defined as:

Passionate, affectionate and intimate exchanges between people, typically involving a level of commitment to one another.

But what makes us choose our partners?

Types of Relationships in Psychology

While platonic family relationships, friendships and acquaintanceships are largely researched through different Approaches in Psychology, romantic relationships are also examined. Let's discuss what motivates attraction in romantic and Sexual Relationships.

Psychologists disagree about what motivates Sexual Relationships. Some believe attraction is an innate, evolutionary process of Sexual Selection, motivated by the biological human reproductive behaviour and the need for genes to survive by reproducing.

Others believe attraction is based on self-disclosure, an exchange of personal information leading to trust between partners. Of course, physical attractiveness also plays a part.

Physical attractiveness may be the primary motivator for sexual attraction.

  • Filter theory suggests that people go through several filters when selecting a partner, starting with social demography (physical proximity), and ending with similarity in moral values and complementarity in lifestyle and behaviour.
  • The matching hypothesis suggests that people are more likely to commit to a romantic relationship with others who they believe are equally as attractive as themselves.

What factors do you think are important in choosing a romantic partner and pursuing a relationship?

Stages of a Relationship

People can be in different stages of a romantic relationship, from the initial attraction when meeting to the maintenance of the relationship and perhaps then the relationship breakdown. Let's find out what psychological theories can teach us about different aspects of romantic relationships.

How are Relationships Maintained?

There are a few models of relationship maintenance that can be mentioned here. They consider relationships to be an economic exchange of investment, benefit, and cost. There may be a constant struggle between parties, but the exchange should be equitable for a relationship to last.

  • Social Exchange Theory comes from Thibault & Kelly (1959), who suggests people try to get the subjective maximum benefit for the minimum cost in a romantic relationship. If the costs are perceived to be greater than any reward, people will leave.
  • Equity theory in relationships states that relationships must be equitable to be satisfactory. If both partners do not give and take equally, the relationship will break down due to feelings of guilt if benefitting more and dissatisfaction from the person who gives more.
  • The Investment Model of relationships from Rusbult (2001) develops on the Social Exchange Theory by suggesting that commitment comes from satisfaction, comparison with alternatives and the level of investment perceived about the relationship. High levels of reward, low cost and a lot of investment in the relationship through money, possessions, adventures or happy memories lead to a longer commitment.

Why do Relationships Break Down?

Duck (1988) stated that relationships break down in four stages, called the phase model of relationship breakdown:

  1. The Intra-psychic phase involves thinking about the negative aspects of the relationship and perhaps starting to think about breaking up.
  2. The Dyadic phase involves speaking about any negative aspects, perhaps leading to arguments.
  3. The Social phase involves friends and family becoming involved in the problems of the relationship, perhaps taking sides and encouraging a breakup.
  4. The Grave dressing involves partners attempting to make themselves look better post-breakup for reputation's sake, perhaps by implying the breakdown is no fault of their own.

Heartbreak is tough. It can even result in physical symptoms such as chest pains and shortness of breath, also known as Broken Heart Syndrome.

Relationships, two paper hearts torn in the middle, VaiaFig. 2: Relationships break down for a variety of reasons.

Functional Relationships

Who is to say what a functional relationship looks like; it is a widely subjective concept. But how can some relationships diverge from aspects of filter theory (such as proximity/demographic distance) and potentially still be successful? Here we will briefly look at virtual and parasocial relations

Virtual Relationships

There are thousands of dating websites worldwide, but not all virtual relationships are romantic. Nevertheless, it remains the case that online dating accounts form a large number of new relationships these days, but how are virtual relationships formed?

Self-disclosure (sharing personal information) is important in this process. It helps to build trust towards partners.

Joinson (2001) suggested people disclose more of their personal information when they are able to talk over a computer, rather than face to face.

Sharing things with a potential partner in the absence of gates (characteristics that may impede attraction when people meet in person, e.g., the way someone smells or how they look in person) may speed up the formation of a relationship.

The absence of gating (barriers to a relationship) also help in the formation of a virtual relationship, often making them stronger. Seeing someone in person can result in seeing things that can reduce attraction, such as appearance or mannerisms, that probably won't be noticed in an online relationship.

Parasocial Relationships

Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, such as a fan's adoration of a celebrity. These relationships are explained by psychologists using attachment theory and the absorption-addiction model.

  • Attachment theory on the development of parasocial relationships suggests people with insecure and anxious parental attachment styles are more likely to have a parasocial relationship in the form of an obsession with a celebrity or fictional character.
  • The absorption addiction model of parasocial relationships suggests that people develop this form of one-sided worship to fulfil some dissatisfaction in their personal lives. The relationship can help provide a sense of purpose or identity.

Relationships, crowd cheering on a band on stage, VaiaFig.3: Parasocial relationships exist between fans and their favourite celebrities.

Symbiotic Relationships

Although not relevant for an exam, symbiotic relationships refer to two different organisms interacting in a way that is usually mutually beneficial. For example, sharks and pilotfish have a symbiotic relationship.


Relationships - Key takeaways

  • Psychological theories of romantic and sexual relationships generally see them as evolutionary, economic, or social. Physical attractiveness, for instance, can affect the development of a relationship.

  • Many theories of relationship maintenance see relationships as an exchange of cost and benefit (social exchange theory, equity theory, and the investment model).

  • Theories of relationships use stage models to explain how relationships are formed and broken down (Duck, 1988).

  • Virtual relationships rely on self-disclosure and the absence of gates.

  • Parasocial relationships are one-sided and can be explained through absorption-addiction and attachment theories.

Frequently Asked Questions about Relationships

Psychologists differ in how they define relationships. Some think they are an exchange of benefits and costs. Others think that they are motivated by a mutual need to reproduce, but ultimately a relationship is a partnership between two or more people. 

Family relationships, friendships, acquaintanceships, and romantic relationships

Relationship psychologists study romantic relationships. 

According to some psychologists, sex is very important to a relationship as they are motivated by a a mutual desire to reproduce. 

A polyamorous relationship is when one or both of the partners in a relationship engage in other relationships. 

Final Relationships Quiz

Relationships Quiz - Teste dein Wissen

Question

What are the main psychological theories of relationships based on?

Show answer

Answer

Evolution, information sharing, physical attraction, and filtering.

Show question

Question

What are the main psychological theories of relationship maintenance based on?

Show answer

Answer

Economic metaphors.

Show question

Question

What is self-disclosure?

Show answer

Answer

Self-disclosure is when a potential partner shares information about themselves. Psychologists state that this is important in relationship formation (both in normal and virtual relationships) and maintenance.

Show question

Question

Which theories explain parasocial relationships?


Show answer

Answer

Attachment theory and the absorption addiction model

Show question

Question

Who proposed a theory of relationship breakdown which progresses in stages?


Show answer

Answer

Duck (2007)

Show question

Question

List the different types of relationships. 


Show answer

Answer

Sexual relationships, romantic relationships and parasocial relationships.

Show question

Question

Define the different types of relationships. 


Show answer

Answer

  • Sexual relationships: relationships motivated by sexual urges. 

  • Romantic relationships: an intimate, interpersonal relationship motivated by emotional intimacy 

  • Parasocial relationships: one-sided relationships such as a fan's 'relationship' with a celebrity 

Show question

Question

What are parasocial relationships?


Show answer

Answer

Parasocial relationships are one-sided relationships, such as a fan's 'relationship' with a celebrity.

Show question

Question

Give an example of a parasocial relationship


Show answer

Answer

The dating app Bumble provides an example of a parasocial relationship. On the app, women choose men and must message them first to maintain the match. At first, these relationships are one-sided and thus parasocial.

Show question

Question

Can parasocial relationships only be online?


Show answer

Answer

No, they can also be in person. The main feature of parasocial relationships is that they are one-sided.

Show question

Question

Psychological theories of relationships are mainly based on 


Show answer

Answer

Economic Metaphors

Show question

Question

'Mary is hopelessly in love with a man called John. Unfortunately, John has no idea who Mary is. To him, she is just the lady who comes to his cafe every day and orders a cappuccino. ' What kind of relationship is John and Mary's?

Show answer

Answer

Parasocial because it is one-sided.

Show question

Question

What is an example of a gate in virtual relationships? 


Show answer

Answer

Physical attraction. If you haven't met a person in real life you may not know if you are physically attracted to them and therefore be able to form a relationship without this impeding you.

Show question

Question

'I don't know, he says he loves me but I'm the one doing all the household chores and planning dates and everything ... I'm just not happy anymore' What theory might psychologists use to explain this person's unhappiness in their relationship?


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Answer

According to equity theory, the person is unhappy because they feel the relationship is unequal as they are doing most of the work.

Show question

Question

What is a potential 'cost' in a relationship?


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Answer

Compromise, such as agreeing to have two kids when you want three.

Show question

Question

What are four types of relationships?

Show answer

Answer

Family relationships, friendships, acquaintanceships, and romantic relationships.

Show question

Question

What is a romantic relationship?

Show answer

Answer

Passionate, affectionate and intimate exchanges between people, typically involving a level of commitment to one another. 

Show question

Question

Has how we define relationships changed over time? 

Show answer

Answer

Yes.

Show question

Question

According to psychologists, what are the different factors that motivate humans to get into relationships?

Show answer

Answer

Evolutionary processes, exchange of information and physical attractiveness.

Show question

Question

The economic exchange of investment, benefit and cost is an example of a theory that explains how relationships are...

Show answer

Answer

maintained.

Show question

Question

What does Duck's Phase Model explain?

Show answer

Answer

How relationships break down.

Show question

Question

Who proposed the phase model relationship breakdown?

Show answer

Answer

Duck (1988).

Show question

Question

According to Duck, if both people in a relationship do not feel like equals the relationship is likely to...

Show answer

Answer

break down.

Show question

Question

True or False: Heartbreak can manifest into physical symptoms.

Show answer

Answer

True.

Show question

Question

Is Broken Heart Syndrome a real phenomenon? 

Show answer

Answer

Yes.

Show question

Question

Are all virtual relationships romantic?

Show answer

Answer

No.

Show question

Question

                    accounts for a large number of new relationships these days.

Show answer

Answer

Online dating.

Show question

Question

What is a parasocial relationship? 

Show answer

Answer

A one-sided relationship.

Show question

Question

How do psychologists explain parasocial relationships?

Show answer

Answer

Parasocial relationships are explained by psychologists using absorption addiction models and attachment theory. 

Show question

Question

What is an example of a parasocial relationship? 

Show answer

Answer

Fan's adoration of a celebrity. 

Show question

Question

Are parasocial relationships healthy?

Show answer

Answer

Not always.

Show question

Question

What is an important process in virtual relationships?

Show answer

Answer

Self-disclosure.

Show question

Question

Lucy has noticed that recently she has been doing the dishes, cleaning the house and cooking the food. Her boyfriend has recently lost his job and, as a result, has become depressed. What is likely to happen to their relationship, and why? 

Show answer

Answer

Relationship breakdown because there is no equity, and Lucy may no longer feel rewarded for being in the relationship. 

Show question

Question

Lucy has just broken up with her boyfriend and decided to get a haircut to feel better. What is this an example of? 

Show answer

Answer

Grave dressing.

Show question

Question

What is the last stage of the breakup process, according to Duck (1988)? 

Show answer

Answer

Grave dressing.

Show question

Question

What is grave dressing? 

Show answer

Answer

Grave dressing involves partners attempting to make themselves look better post-breakup for reputation's sake, perhaps implying the breakdown is no fault of their own.

Show question

Question

 Some believe attraction is an _______, evolutionary process of sexual selection, motivated by the biological human reproductive behaviour and the need for genes to survive by reproducing.  

Show answer

Answer

innate.

Show question

Question

What is self-disclosure?

Show answer

Answer

An exchange of personal information leading to trust between partners.

Show question

Question

True or False: Physical attractiveness may be the primary motivator for sexual attraction.

Show answer

Answer

True.

Show question

Question

What does Filter theory suggest?

Show answer

Answer

That people go through several filters when selecting a partner, starting with social demography (physical proximity), and ending with similarity in moral values and complementarity in lifestyle and behaviour. 

Show question

Question

The matching hypothesis suggests that people are ____ likely to commit to a romantic relationship with others who they believe are equally as attractive as themselves. 

Show answer

Answer

more.

Show question

Question

What does attachment theory suggest about parasocial relationships?

Show answer

Answer

Attachment theory on the development of parasocial relationships suggests people with insecure and anxious parental attachment styles are more likely to have a parasocial relationship in the form of an obsession with a celebrity or fictional character. 

Show question

Question

True or False: The absorption addiction model of parasocial relationships suggests that people develop this form of one-sided worship to fulfil some dissatisfaction in their personal lives.

Show answer

Answer

True.

Show question

Test your knowledge with multiple choice flashcards

Psychological theories of relationships are mainly based on 

Which of the following is the preferred mating strategy for males?

Which sex is more likely to engage in intra-sexual selection?

Next

Flashcards in Relationships43

Start learning

What are the main psychological theories of relationships based on?

Evolution, information sharing, physical attraction, and filtering.

What are the main psychological theories of relationship maintenance based on?

Economic metaphors.

What is self-disclosure?

Self-disclosure is when a potential partner shares information about themselves. Psychologists state that this is important in relationship formation (both in normal and virtual relationships) and maintenance.

Which theories explain parasocial relationships?


Attachment theory and the absorption addiction model

Who proposed a theory of relationship breakdown which progresses in stages?


Duck (2007)

List the different types of relationships. 


Sexual relationships, romantic relationships and parasocial relationships.

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